Blood Bath

Something I wrote regarding a messy time while I was wearing love tinted glasses

I know you'll find comfort in another body

I know you'll find pleasure in the quick few minutes it takes

but I'll find comfort in knowing it won't be me

It won't be me this time whose heart sinks into their stomach when your phone beeps with an anonymous number, a faceless name

My heart is used to the abuse, and this morning I felt silken fingertips grip my throat

At first I could barely breathe

and I was tongue tied at what I might see

but I woke up choking on nothing

I've been waiting on your love for too long

I don't know how to change you

instead I end up fighting me

I thought you were my piece of heaven

I realize now that you were always my enemy

We always fall apart just to fall together again

We keep running through the same old blood bath
but this time I'm putting down my weapon

Enough, I whisper. Enough.