"I walked in silence with my thoughts, as the frigid winter air blew the strands of hair around my face. As strangers trotted by, I slowly followed them with my eyes, observing every secret smile passing by their lips, catching their gaze and allowing a quiet moment between two strangers. I see you. You see me. I acknowledge your presence. Simple. Straight to the point. If I was feeling devious, I would give the men a smile.. no not a smile.. a smirk. I'd give them a little smirk as if to say "I know what your desires are" They would usually hide their honest eyes, bashful. They had wives to think about and daughters to get home to. But for just one second, one glorious second, they could envision what it would be like to be with someone like me.
I kept walking down the quaint path, past the hole in the wall boutiques, and romantic dessert lounges. The iciness of the evening felt pleasant against my flushed cheeks but the silence of this walk was disturbingly unsettling. Alas, my headphones were lost to the black abyss I called my bedroom.
I wanted the music to lull me into a sense of tolerable existence. The melody, and moans to tell me that everything would be alright. My heart was sinking further into the pools of my stomach. The acid, from what I can only imagine, was devouring it up as I walked. Step by step, heartbeat by heartbeat. I sank into a rhythm, allowing my whole body to soften with the sounds of my boots softly crunching the off-white snow below me."
xo
Becca